Death Is The Only Way to Avoid Aging
I’ve lost count of the amount of messages I’ve received over the years from brands who want to send me samples of their beauty products. They usually start by saying that they love my pro-aging message and mission and they assure me that they’re fully on board with both. There’s often a number of exclamation points included to display their enthusiasm.
At least 95% of the time, a quick visit to their Instagram page or website tells me everything I need to know about their values. Many of them may be using the term “pro-aging”, but they’re still very much pushing an anti-aging agenda.
A culture of anti-aging is about more than the words we use. It’s about the ideals and beliefs we support and perpetuate, and the way we reinforce aging as something to be afraid, and ashamed, of.
Using the lure of youthfulness as a ploy to entice consumers to buy products (and buy into the idea that those products are necessary in the first place) is part of an anti-aging narrative. It doesn’t matter if we call it youth renewal, age reversal, age preventative, youth inspired, age correcting, or any other variation of turning back the clock, it still frames aging in a derogatory way.
Death is the only way to avoid aging. But nobody wants to slap that slogan on their creams or serums.
Our fear of visibly aging is not accidental. For centuries, we’ve been fascinated with the idea of capturing youth. Cleopatra apparently used to bathe in donkey’s milk to keep her skin soft and supple. Wealthy Elizabethan women were said to place thin slices of raw meat on their faces to minimize wrinkles. In the 1700s, it’s believed that aristocratic French women washed their faces in red wine to combat signs of aging.
In the late 1800s, Margaret Kroesen developed Frownies after noticing frown lines on her daughter, Alice. First known as Wrinkle Eradicators, the adhesive patches were used to hold skin taut and smooth.
Then, in 1931, Helena Rubinstein launched a day cream and a night cream known as the Hormone Twin Youthifiers. The creams were supposed to “correct wrinkles and crow’s feet, keeping the skin vibrant with youth, exquisitely clear, always at the peak of its youthful perfection!”
Almost 100 years later, little has changed in the way anti-aging products are marketed to us.
However, it’s not just one or two products aimed at an affluent demographic anymore. We are bombarded with an array of anti-aging options online and offline. We’re supposed to have morning and evening skincare routines, and even our make-up frequently boasts built-in SPF which was once encouraged to protect against skin cancer but is increasingly sold as a way to ward off “premature” aging.
Beauty standards have shifted somewhat over the last century and we’ve seen a number of trends come and go. But our desire to retain a youthful appearance has held firm over the decades. Anti-aging remains a booming business.
Today, Frownies describe the “energy” behind their product as one of empowerment so women can “honor, embrace and celebrate who they are.” They’re intent on setting themselves apart from anti-aging procedures such as injections and surgery, claiming that their patches are a simple and effective way to help women look and feel their best by effectively reducing signs of aging.
But it’s simply two sides of the same coin. Whether it’s Botox, bathing in questionable concoctions, facial patches, fillers, surgery or skincare, the message remains the same: aging is something to be feared and fixed.
Something that has changed, however, is our ability to talk widely about the negative impact of an anti-aging culture. And it’s celebrities who are in fact at least partially responsible for bringing awareness of ageist stereotypes into the mainstream.
The movie stars and models that Gen Xers saw on our screens in the 80s and 90s are aging. Many of them are now in midlife, or beyond, and they’re openly declaring that they’re far from ready to fade into the background. Add the amplification of social media, the mass sharing of memes and soundbites, and we have a whole new conversation taking place about aging.
This is a good thing, surely?
Yes and no. Unfortunately, as we’ve seen with menopause having a moment in the spotlight, there’s money to be made with any movement. And, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, many brands are eager to cash in on a change in consumer behavior without doing any real work to correct, or even consider, their core values. We’ve seen this over and over again with Black Lives Matter and Pride. Everyone wants capitalize upon the perceived progress of society, but few are willing to put integrity over profit.
So, is there even any point to a pro-aging movement? Are we wasting our time and energy trying to disrupt a culture of anti-aging that, despite growing pushback, still seems to be thriving across the globe?
This was a question someone posed to me on an anti anti-aging reel I recently shared on Instagram. They suggested I was fighting a losing battle because of how we collectively define beauty, and in turn, how we assign worth and value. Appearances are seemingly everything.
As I considered this comment, I realized that it has never occurred to me that activism (of any kind) is a battle that can be lost. Instead, I think of it as a commitment to continue. To pave the way for a better world. To do my very best to help steer change that I hope will make a difference well beyond my lifetime. I might not live long enough to see the world I dream of emerge from vision to reality. But that will never stop me doing everything I can to ensure that one day, maybe many moons from now, another woman might have an easier time in a kinder society because I used my voice. Because we used our voices.
I want to redefine beauty standards. I want to question beauty and body ideals. I want to stop supporting brands who profit from our insecurities. I’m going to die one day, and that will be the day I finally stop aging. And no product or procedure will have had anything to do with it.
Until then, I want to live. Live! Without hiding my cellulite, scars, jowls, lines, crepey skin or deepening wrinkles. And if I can make a difference to how just one woman sees her own aging body, I’ll be more than content with that.
If you’d like some support divesting from a culture of anti-aging and discovering how a pro-aging mindset can make a (huge!) difference in your life, take a look at my pro-aging program Visible. The reviews speak for themselves. You can get the video version here, or the audio version exclusively on Insight Timer. (If you have the Member Plus version of Insight Timer then the course is included in your membership).